


The Art of Dealing with it

by DailyDaves



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2013-09-19
Packaged: 2017-12-27 00:25:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/972111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DailyDaves/pseuds/DailyDaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Geoff, Gavin, and a bunch of alcohol have a conversation in which Gavin finds himself constantly running his mouth when he shouldn’t involving the topics of sexuality and a certain Michael Jones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Art of Dealing with it

**Author's Note:**

> The original prompt to this was given to me on tumblr and was "you still taking prompts? because I fucking /need/ homophobic!gavin trying to deal with his feelings for michael. like air. I. need. that. fic."

If there was one thing Gavin hated, it was talking about his own emotions with other people, but when the opportunity presented itself, he found himself spilling his goddamned guts to Geoff.

He liked to deny that he was 'emotionally distant' and that he 'held everything bottled up' as people seemed to enjoy telling him. He just didn't think people should have to sit and listen to him if they just felt obligated to be there. He also couldn't be bothered to actually sort himself into words and cohesive sentences. That took too much time, time that he'd rather take doing other things. He would really do anything to avoid talking about his thoughts and emotions, but something had clicked in this particular situation that had made Gavin just start talking without even thinking much of it.

"So, how long's it been since you've been with a girl?" The conversation had started, the two of them sitting in ridiculously uncomfortable lawn chairs around the fire pit in the large, open backyard of the house. Geoff meant it as a joke, probably as a segway to another conversation or a dumb 'would you rather?'. Gavin had glanced up from flipping through photos on his phone, giving Geoff a questioning look.

After a moment, he'd answered, "Oh. You know. A while." He'd expected that to be the last of that topic, figuring Geoff would move onto something more interesting. Geoff had just frowned at him.

"That's rough, dude."

And Gavin wasn't sure how it'd escalated from there, but after a combination of maybe a little too much to drink and Geoff being the persistent shit he was, Gavin was soon running his bloody mouth, saying whatever thoughts came to his mind, only coming to his senses once he realized the look of Geoff's face was probably the most disgusted he'd ever seen him.

"Don't let Griffon hear you say any of that," For one of the first times, he sounded legitimately angry, and in return, Gavin felt legitimately bad for going too far.

"Hey, wait, no," He tried to backpedal, taking back the offensive shit that had just come out of his mouth. This was part of the reason he didn't do this. He ended up saying a bunch of things he didn't mean, or things came out wrong and sounded horrible, making him seem like a bad person. "Geoff, I didn't—God _damn_. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's fine with other people. I couldn't care less about the gender other people like! That's none of my bloody business anyways. It's just different with me."

"You need to stop saying every single word that comes into that stupid head of yours," Geoff sounded relieved, the anger fading from him. If there was one thing Gavin could say about Geoff, it'd be that he could actually understand what Gavin was really trying to tell him most of the time. He didn't say anything for a moment, sitting back down and letting the argument die between them as he cracked another drink open. "So you're saying you think you might be gay."

The words felt more foreign than usual. Gavin was hesitant to respond. He didn't like hearing it in actual cohesive words.

"Yeah. Maybe. I don't know." He finally answered, still standing by the fire. "Doesn't feel right, you know? Feels weird. Wrong."

Geoff gave him that look. A warning to watch his mouth before something horribly offensive came out. Gavin shut up.

"Who is it?" The question Gavin had feared. He only glanced at the shed he lived in, wondering if he could just walk away from this conversation and leave the question unanswered, just like he did when he wanted to avoid any other question. He stayed put, though. This was Geoff, not just some random person he'd met or someone he worked with. This was a guy who was family to him, and he couldn't just walk away from this conversation.

"Look, I—"

"Goddamn, dude. It's Michael, isn't it?"

Gavin was struck speechless. He hadn't mentioned Michael's name at all during this conversation, nor had he alluded to him at all. It was unsettling how quickly Geoff had guessed, and it made Gavin think back to everything, making sure he'd double checked and covered his tracks so it wouldn't be obvious. He didn't say anything, neither denying it nor confirming it, but his silence was clearly enough of a 'yes' from Gavin.

"You're a dumb. You're just a big tornado of dumb, Gavin," He'd said it before, Gavin remembered, and he couldn't agree more. He was an idiot for thinking all this and an idiot for running his mouth. He opened his mouth to defend himself, to say that yes, he _knew_ Michael was his best mate and a coworker and he _knew_ that this was ridiculous and wrong, but Geoff spoke before him, interrupting his thoughts. "You should've just said that in the first place, dumbass. Why don't you just say something to him?"

"Because I'm not like that," Gavin answered immediately, unable to really explain it himself. People had tried to explain to him in the past that sexuality wasn't really a solid thing, but he'd never really paid much mind. Girls had always been his thing, so the notion that he was possibly attracted to a guy, much less his _best friend_ sat more than a little bit weird with him. It wasn't that he disagreed with it in anyone else. That was fine by him. He honestly didn't care. But he cared when it came to himself, and he _knew_ he was a piece of shit for thinking that, but he'd insisted his whole life that he was absolutely, completely straight and _normal_ and he didn't _want_ to be anything but that.

He didn't know why he'd told Geoff. It'd honestly just come out, much like every other thing he'd said, every other shitty thing he'd said in this conversation, and now he was just left wondering why he'd shared it in the first place. It'd been something meant for no one's ears, and all Gavin could come up with as an explanation was that he just had one too many drinks in his system to really filter himself after being led into a conversation. He should probably just be grateful it was Geoff who'd been there and not someone else.

Geoff was giving him _that_ look, the look that meant he thought Gavin was being stupid, the look that meant he was trying to come up with either a way to fathom what Gavin was talking about or a solution for him. He shook his head again, finishing off his drink as Gavin waited for him to say something, growing more and more frustrated with every moment of anticipation in the silence. At last, Geoff stood up, facing Gavin and looking him straight in the eyes.

"You're such a fucking idiot, dude," The way he said it—Gavin knew this was the final word of their conversation. A part of him was relieved. He was tired of talking about this and he just wanted to go to sleep. Geoff still fixed him with that hard stare, though, and went on. "Get over yourself. No one cares, Gavin. No one cares what you are or who you want to bang and you're a fucking idiot for not realizing it. Get over whatever you think is normal or whatever shit is going through your head and move on with your life."

And then he walked towards the house, leaving Gavin speechless.

Geoff had a funny way of saying things. What he'd told him could've come off as angry and accusatory, but Gavin knew better than that. He knew what Geoff was saying and it left him with the burning question of—why _did_ it matter?

…

'Throw some caution to the wind'

(Or whatever the bloody saying was.)

That was what Geoff had been trying to tell him. It didn't matter what he did. It was because of that, because of what Geoff had told him before going back inside and sleeping off what had probably been drunkness close to alcohol poisoning, that he approached Michael in the kitchen the Monday after, catching him before he went out or made any food.

"Michael. Hey, Michael."

"What's up, Gav?" Michael had turned to him, raising a curious eyebrow.

Gavin had just smiled, "Let's go out for lunch. Your choice. I'll pay."

Without hesitation, Michael agreed, "Sweet deal. Let's go."

And it was because of that conversation with Geoff and his final words to Gavin that he realized that it really _didn't_ bloody matter and that he might just be alright with whatever happened between he and Michael, if anything, and the relief from that stress and constant worrying being lifted from him was bliss.

He saw Geoff on his way out with Michael, and stopped, muttering a small "Thanks" to him and it was meant than more than just a thank you, but also as an admittance that he'd been right, as well as an apology for being such a stupid asshole.


End file.
